Percy Jackson and the Wine of Zeus
by AskSomeoneWhoKnows
Summary: Hey guys, this is my first fic, and I'm not very good with summaries, but please read and review!  Anyways, it's about how prank played by Percy goes awry and the quest he has to undertake in order to avoid spontaneous combustion!
1. Prologue

**Hey everyone this is my first fic, so I don't know if it's any good... Anyways, please R&R!**

* * *

It was a normal day at Camp Half-Blood. Things were peaceful.

**Author – Yeah, right! Things are never peaceful at that camp!**

**Narrator – There's a way to narrate a story! Things have to be placed in a chronological order!**

Let's just ignore that interruption…..

* * *

Anyways, it was a _not so_ peaceful day at the camp. This was particularly because a certain son of Poseidon had managed to persuade his satyr friend and a certain son of Hades to play a prank on the camp director a.k.a. Dionysus, god of wine. Of course we all know that Percy and the others were now in big trouble. This was mainly because the prank was supposed to be played on Chiron, but due to a cruel twist of fate, Dionysus was at the receiving end of their prank.

"Don't worry guys," said Percy while running as fast as he could away from the Big House, "I have a plan!"

"Oh no, not again!" said Grover "I hate your plans!"

"Trust me, this one's really good!" said Percy.

"So what is this amazing master plan of yours?" asked Nico, "Your previous plan almost got us killed! And now Dionysus is going to turn us to ashes, or worse, report us to Zeus!"

*Flashback*

"Hey guys! Life at camp has gotten really boring since we beat Kronos, what with everyone being busy building cabins and stuff." said Percy.

Nico and Grover looked at each other and grinned, thinking the same thing: what Percy _really _meant was that Annabeth was too busy with the designing of Olympus to hang out with him and he was getting bored….

"So I've come up with a plan to make things more interesting…,"Percy continued.

"Please! We're not going to be a part of your stupid plan! The cookies' incident was bad enough!" said Nico and Grover in unison.

*Flashback inside of Flashback*

"I have a plan to get Chiron to give us more cookies!" said Percy.

Percy's amazing plan involved clogging the drains using his powers while Nico and Grover told Chiron that Percy had said that the only way he would stop was if they were given more cookies…..

All they got was one week of probation and toilet and dish-cleaning duty….

Pretty bad, huh?

*End of flashback within flashback*

"GUYS! Don't get lost in the flashback! Listen to me!" Percy whined, "You have to help me! Or else….."

"Or else what?" they asked.

"Or else I'll show everyone that video of you crying while those Aphrodite girls applied make-up to your face while you were tied up, Nico! And, Grover, I'll tell everyone about the time when you wet the bed while we were on a quest!" said Percy.

"Damn it! Argh! I guess I'll just have to play along with your stupid scheme!" said Nico.

"Me too!" replied Grover,"Hey! Wait a second! I never wet the bed during any quest!"

"Shut up! Of course you did! Remember, you dropped water on that bed in the Lotus Casino, right? So, _technically, _you did wet the bed!" said Percy, delighted at his own ingenuity.

Thus, Percy prepared for days, trying to figure out what Chiron was afraid of….. He didn't target Dionysus because the camp director didn't forgive pranksters that easily… Well, that and the fact that Dionysus _was _an immortal god… He had already played several pranks on the campers and was now bored of doing the same. Hence Chiron was his intended victim.

He and Nico had put smelly, old, slimy and rotten seaweed as well as some undead glue on Chiron's chair while Grover distracted Chiron.

The undead glue was a permanent glue that lasted almost three to four days. Thus, Chiron would be stuck in that dirty chair for a long time!

But the plan went awry when Chiron had to leave the camp in an emergency and even though Percy and the others tried to retrieve the chair, it was too late…..

You guys can probably guess who the victim was, and I can assure you, he was not happy….

*End of flashback*

Thus, Percy's ridiculous scheme had them running for their lives as Dionysus tried to get out of the chair and blast them at the same time.

"But this shouldn't have happened at all!" exclaimed Percy,"Why did Dionysus sit in Chiron's chair? He has a chair of his own, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does, but he spontaneously combusted that one during the yesterday's camp meeting. That's why he never attends them! Don't you remember Percy?" asked Grover.

"Of course he doesn't! He was too busy staring at Annabeth to know what was happening around him!" said Nico.

"Shut up and run guys!" shouted Percy, "I intend to ask Annabeth for her help. She'll know what to do! Luckily she returned to camp from Olympus yesterday for the meeting…."said Percy.

When they reached the Athena cabin, Percy knocked thrice and said, "It's me! Open quick-"

Annabeth swung the door open and said,"Come in quickly, idiots! I knew that Percy had a major talent for ticking off the gods, but you two? What is wrong with you?"

Nico and Grover hung their heads in shame as Annabeth lectured them while Percy plopped down on her bed and watched.

She whirled around and glared at Percy, making him flinch.

"So….. um,….. Annabeth?" said Percy"What do you think we should do?"

"I think you should come up with another brilliant plan to get yourself out of this mess." Said Annabeth sarcastically.

"Really?"

"No, you Kelp-head! Please, just listen to what I'm saying! I think you should go to Dionysus and explain to him about what happened. He'll have cooled off sufficiently by now to at least hear what you say before incinerating you."

"But….." whimpered Grover.

"You _do _know that Dionysus is not one of the most understanding gods, don't you?" said Nico.

"Well, you're just going to have to hope that this case is an exception, aren't you?" said Annabeth.

"Idiots…." She muttered as Percy stared at the floor.

They walked towards the Big House in silence with Annabeth leading the way.

"Um… Lord Dionysus?" she said.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT? Stupid campers…" said an extremely pissed Dionysus.

He was still stuck in the chair.

"We want to explain to you what exactly happened here and why you're stuck in that smelly chair." said Percy.

"I KNOW WHY I'M STUCK IN THE CHAIR! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID PRANK PETER JOHNSON!"

"Yes, but you weren't the intended target, my lord. Chiron was." said Nico.

Dionysus started to pace the room, an agitated look on his face.

"I…" said Percy before he was silenced by a glare from Dionysus.

It looked as though he was struggling whether or not to do something.

"Alright…." he said, "I have decided!"

* * *

A/N - So, what do you think? Should I continue? Please REVIEW! My first fic and my first cliffhanger...


	2. Chapter 1  The Punishment

**Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter! Actually this one took a little time to post coz my net had crashed! Please R&R!**

* * *

"Alright…." he said, "I have decided!"

Grover gulped rather audibly.

"I have already reported you to Zeus. My report shall be considered on the summer solstice next month. He shall then decide what to do with you brats, since I cannot spontaneously combust your molecules. However, the humor of your prank appeals to me. It would have been hilarious to see that old horseman stuck in a stinky chair for a couple of days!" said Dionysus.

Percy and Nico grinned.

"So…" Dionysus continued, "I have decided to give you one chance. You have to go on a quest and retrieve an item for me."

_Sounds quite easy, _thought Percy.

"I know that it sounds quite easy, but I assure you, it will be hard. Father had said that if I can give him a cup of the world's finest wine, then he would cut off five years from my punishment…. I know five years aren't much to an immortal, but it makes a difference to me. His conditions were that neither could I taste any wine nor could I produce the wine myself. 'It has to be the best wine made by _mankind!_''. Bah!"

The sky thundered.

"Blah, blah, blah! Anyways, you brats you should consult the oracle before leaving. A little advice: The cup-bearer holds the key!"

"Wait, Rachel's here?" asked Percy.

"She arrived here this morning saying that she had got the feeling that she would be needed later. She's staying in one of these rooms." said Dionysus "Now, go away! Remember, you have to be back before the summer solstice!"

Saying this, he pushed them out of the room and slammed the door behind him before starting to work on the chair. A couple of minutes later, he was free. It was a simple matter of doing his second favourite thing: spontaneously combusting the glue's particles. It did tickle a little, but that was better than sitting there in that disgusting, smelly chair for three days.

* * *

Percy and the others walked towards Rachel's room, a look of relief on their faces.

Only Annabeth looked a little worried.

As soon as they reached Rachel's room, the door swung open.

Percy's hand hung limply in the air as the door was obviously already open.

"Um…. Rachel, we have to go on a quest…" said Percy.

"I know," she said "That's what I saw, which is why I came! Now, ask your question."

"Umm… Where is the world's best wine?"

"I think maybe somewhere in France or Italy… Not too sure though…. Depends on your taste."

"That doesn't help!" said Percy.

"Percy, shut up! Rachel, can you tell us about the wine in relation to our quest?" asked Annabeth.

"Wait… I'm getting something – "

A green haze seemed to come out of Rachel's mouth. It took up the form of a podgy man that looked suspiciously like Dionysus. It was the mortal Dionysus as a young man.

"_Six will travel together to a distant village_

_To obtain the blessed vine,_

_Which will yield wine so fine,_

_Even the lord of the gods will be pleased._

_But perils on the way will lead to the loss of one."_

"Aw…. Why are the prophecies always SO depressing?" said Percy.

"Shut up! She isn't finished!" said Nico.

"_To win him back you must venture where no hero has dared!"_

"Everything at stake, no clue of how you will fare." Rachel completed "Gotta go!"

"Wait! What village? Where? How? Wha–" said Percy.

"I told you before, Percy. Asking me questions about a prophecy I made is useless; it's like asking you what happens at camp meetings, completely useless for reasons Nico already mentioned…."

"Enough of that already!" said Percy while Nico and Grover snickered.

"Dionysus mentioned a cup-bearer…. Hmm…. He probably meant Ganymede, Zeus' cup-bearer…. Maybe we should start by visiting him at Olympus?" said Annabeth.

"I think you guys should go to the seashore first." said Rachel.

"Why? Does that have something to do with our quest?" asked Percy.

"No, but I'm sure he does…." said Nico, pointing at the large figure that was slowly walking towards camp, looking for all the world as though he had just walked out of the sea, which of course he had.

"Tyson! What are you doing here?"

"Daddy sent me! How have you been, brother?" asked Tyson.

"Okay, I guess. But mostly, I've been getting in trouble."

"Is that because Annabeth isn't around to keep an eye on you?"

"Shut up! Did Dad send any messages?"

"Oh yes! Daddy said that we should go Nereus, old man of the sea! He knows a lot! He will know about wine!"

"Word has reached Olympus?" asked Nico.

"I know! We should go to Las Vegas!" exclaimed Grover.

"O-kkay Grover, I think you should stop having any coffee." said Annabeth.

"Let's go and get ready, we'll leave in an hour…. I'll send Chiron an iris message and ask him where we should go first. Argus will drop us till the station, I guess….Come to the hill in an hour, people!" said Annabeth.

ONE HOUR LATER

"You can't take that, Nico… trust me, you're too small to have it anyway!" said Percy.

"Oh come on! Exactly how old does one have to be to have some?" asked Nico.

"Older than you are right now! Look at what all that coffee has done to Grover! Do want to be like him?" said Percy while a very jumpy Grover twitched and ran around the room several times, saying "Caffeine and sugar! CAFFEINE AND SUGAR!" in a maniacal voice.

Author – Yeah, he has issues…..

Percy and the others arrived at the hill to find that Argus would not be able to drop them because he had got conjunctivitis.

**A/N – I always wondered what Argus would do if he got conjunctivitis…**

Suddenly, the Sun glowed brightly and the air next to Percy simmered as Apollo appeared with a bright smile, looking exactly like a seventeen year-old male model for sunglasses.

"Never fear, Apollo is here! I'll drop you guys to San Francisco!"

"Err… Just curious…. How come you're helping us?" asked Percy.

"Well let's just say that I like a good joke once in a while, and the prank you played made my day! Not only me, practically all the gods had a laugh when we saw a telecast of it on Olympus Live! Anyways, get into the van, kiddos!"

* * *

**A/N – Many thanks to AlonsoMassa, my beta-reader and critic. Hope you guys like this! I'll update soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

**A/N – Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I took so long to update…. Internet troubles. Anyways, here it is.**

**Disclaimer – I do not own the Percy Jackson series. Well, that's a shocker, isn't it? If I did, I'd be rich! Muwahahahaha! Ahem…. Anyways, on to the story….**

Percy's POV

As I got in to the minivan, I remembered the last time I'd been in it. Thalia had been driving. _Not _fun. Anyway, this time, Apollo had decided that Annabeth would drive. In the beginning, he kept giving her advice (without which she would've been fine), but he soon realized that she wasn't listening to him and contented himself by sitting and composing various haikus, most of which ended in, "Apollo is awesome!". Grover and Nico were sleeping in the back and soon, I also fell asleep.

When I awoke, I found that I was lying on a bench. Annabeth looked like she was about to-Aah! Cold, cold, cold!

Annabeth had slipped an ice cube into my shirt.

We found Nereus lying amongst a load of homeless people. He ran towards the water, then suddenly changed tack and started when he saw Tyson standing behind him.

I took advantage of the distraction, grabbed the stinky man and neck-locked him.

"What do you want?" he said.

"Uh…. Smoked cheese?" asked Tyson.

Everyone looked at Tyson.

"I thought you liked Peanut butter?" asked Grover.

Tyson just shrugged.

"We want to know where we can find the wine that is the best in the world, the one which will appease Zeus." Said Annabeth.

"I don't really know anything about smoked cheese, and for the wine, you should speak to Ganymede. You'll probably find him on Mount Olympus. See you!" said Nereus jumping straight into the water and disappearing.

"Right, then. Mount Olympus, it is!" I said.

"Percy, wait! How will we get to Olympus fast enough?" asked Nico.

I smiled and whistled. Three pegasi flew out of the sky and landed next to us.

_Yo, boss! How's it goin'?_ asked Blackjack.

"It's good to see you too, Blackjack." I said, smiling.

Nico said that he'd go on ahead using shadow travel.

Everyone climbed on to their respective pegasus; Tyson on Guido (poor horse!), Grover on some weirdo, and me on Blackjack.

Annabeth climbed on to Blackjack to, gripping my waist tightly.

Grover and Tyson snickered. I shot them both dirty looks.

We soon reached the Empire State building.

* * *

Nico was lying on the kerb, fast asleep.

We woke him up and gave him a couple of squares of ambrosia and then went towards the elevator. The security guy nodded at us as we passed. We inserted the card-key for access to the six-hundredth floor and waited as the floors passed by. 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson was playing.

I guess my dad had decided to listen to me and finally improve the elevator tunes. Then Beethoven's final symphony started to play. I almost strangled myself.

_FINALLY! _ I thought when the lift came to a stop and doors dinged open.

We got out and started walking, Annabeth next to me.

"So, how is the designing going?" I asked.

"Not bad…. But it's taking up too much of my time…."

She seemed to be about to say something else, but just then we came face-to-face with Athena.

"Mother, where can we find Ganymede?" asked Annabeth, straight to the point, as always.

"Turn right at the muses." Athena replied.

_What, no __advice or help or magic items?_ I thought. _I expected at least a few words of wisdom…Anyways…_

When we reached, the place Athena had pointed out to us, we saw Ganymede sobbing like a girl. "This is one _real _manly god….." muttered Nico.

"Gone… It's Gone!" he sobbed.

"Umm…. Excuse me, but what's gone?" I asked.

"Zeus' goblet!" he wailed, "I'm going to lose my job!"

"Relax." Said Annabeth, "We'll help you find it."

"Really?" asked Ganymede, looking up at us hopefully.

I was really tempted to say _No, she was just kidding,_ but I figured that since we needed his help, might as well try not to alienate him.

"We'll only help you if you tell us about the wine that Lord Zeus asked for from Dionysus!" said Nico.

Meanwhile, Tyson and Grover stood in a corner watching, since this author is too lazy to come up with interesting dialogues for them.

"Oh! Oh! You want the best wine of mankind, right? It's the only wine that Lord Zeus drinks anyway! There's some in the goblet!"

"Where is the goblet?" I asked.

"Oh, it's in the Maze of six…."

I looked quizzically at Annabeth.

"It's a maze on Mount Olympus that no god or human can enter unless they have a magic item…. Since we're neither god nor human, we can go, but there's a single condition for half-bloods: they can only enter in a group of six."

I understood how that was a problem to us immediately, and then said something smart like, "But there are only six of us, right?"

Then a voice from behind me said, "Wrong!"

I was never so glad to hear that voice in my life! Or maybe I was. I think it was during the recent war against a certain nefarious titan…

"DAMN YOU, JACKSON!" screamed a voice from somewhere.

"Shut up." I told it.

Thalia hugged me, Annabeth and Nico and then went to hug Grover, who promptly fainted.

"He'll become conscious soon" I said, dragging him by his hooves with Nico's help. "So, where's this maze thingy?"

"It's right here" said Annabeth, pointing at a pool of water.

_Ohh, yeah!__ I think I'm gonna enjoy this,_ I thought.

* * *

**A/N - So, here it is! I really hope you guys like this... The next chapter will be longer, so please bear with me... Anyways, R&R people, please! I need the motivation!**


End file.
